Yesterday, Rafe and I went with Joel to Chapel Hill. Joel has to go once a week to teach his class. He thought it would be good for us to get away. He was right. Rafe and I went to the plantarium. He loved the show "Earth, Moon, and Sun." It was nice walking around the campus showing Rafe where Joel and I went to school and lived for four years.
Of course, we had to shop for our Carolina gear. Rafe and I loaded up on tshirts and other Carolina items. I could not leave Sydney Grace out. I found a cute picture frame to put a picture of her in.
As well as yesterday went, it still hits me sometimes like a ton of bricks that Sydney is gone. As we were eating dinner last night, I was looking across at Joel and Rafe sharing their meal and it hit me that I was by myself. It was supposed to be Sydney and me(the girls) on the other side.
I have been really selfish lately thinking about all I am going to miss with Sydney. I am going to miss dance classes, clothes shopping, pedicures and all the girly things I was looking forward to doing with her. I don't know how to get over those feelings. I guess I need to focus more on the positive, but it is really hard three weeks out of Sydney passing. Anyway....
Here are some pictures of our trip to Chapel Hill yesterday and a picture of Sydney Grace in the Carolina picture frame. Sydney's picture is the only one I have of her in her Carolina toboggan. Sorry for the poor quality. I forgot my camera and had to use my iphone.
It sounds like a very nice day in Chapel Hill. I have grown to appreciate Chapel Hill much more than before since Grant has been going there for his cancer treatments. Sometimes the visits there are "easy" and some are very hard. It is a pretty common experience to see a friend of Grant's who has been getting along well on the treatment schedule find out there has been a relapse of his illness.
ReplyDeleteIt is especially hard on the mothers. They cry- they scream- they hit the wall literally sometimes. It just can't be happening again, they say. Then they dry their eyes, sit down and hold their child and hope and pray that things will be alright.
I guess what I'm thinking about is that bad things happen to good people- but that's ok. This life is a test of sorts- how will we handle the hard times, and what are we really made of.
You and Joel have shown us that you are made of really good stuff. You've been taught well, and you are the kind of individuals that will grow and be even better through your trials.
Until later, special mama.
Love to you all.
Still thinking of you all the time, I check up on you here everyday. Stay strong, you will get thru this tough time and the sun will shine in your heart again, Sydney is always watching over you and she knows how much you miss and love her. I will pray again for you tonight to give you peace.
ReplyDeleteStephanie
Nc
Glad you guys enjoyed Chapel Hill- I think about you 3 everyday~ Now, don't think you have to be Superwomen- You are allowed to have bad days and to feel sorry for yourself! It's a normal part of grieving- I pray that your days will get easier and that one day you will have that little girl to do "girl" things with. Keep the faith and know that Sidney is smiling down upon you all and keeping you strong- What an inspiration you have all been to so many people and no one expects you to be strong everyday- Just don't beat yourself up when your not- Lots of love to you & your family.
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