Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I'm ok

First off, this is my second time typing this entry. Somehow what I typed earlier, which was finished, got erased. I somehow think this new entry will be shorter the second time around.

I want to thank everyone for all your concerns since my last post. I want everyone to know that I am really ok. Of course, I have my moments that I am down. It has not even been three months since Sydney Grace passed. For the most part, I think I am doing better than I ever thought I would. It does seem that when I am feeling down, it is the time that I have something that I want to blog about. This blog has really been a blessing. I have lots of family and friends that I talk to, but writing about it really does help.

For those parents that are facing the same decisions that Joel and I had to make, please know that although some of my entries seem to be really depressing, it was all worth it. The past eight months have been really hard, but I would not change my decision for anything. Our decision to keep Sydney Grace, even though we had no idea how long we would have her, before birth or after, was the best decision we ever made. She brought so much joy to not only our family, but to thousands of people who never got to meet her. Joel once asked me, before Sydney Grace was born, if I could go back and never be pregnant, would I choose to do so? My reply was that I would not change it. Although I knew Sydney Grace would not be with us long, I knew she was a gift from God. We were very fortunate to have her for twenty days, way more than we ever thought. She truly was a blessing.

I made a background link about Sydney Grace on the sidebar. For those who have not read Sydney's story before birth and after, you can read it on this link.
Sydney Grace's Story

I have a few ribbon magnets left for $10. Money will be donated to the hospital nursery in Sydney Grace's name. Thanks to all that have purchased one.


  1. I think about Sydney Grace every day. I had a baby 7 months ago and when I read your story it touched me so much. I lost a baby last year and although my situation was much different from yours it is still hard to think about sometimes. I will continue to pray for you and your family everyday. I know every day has its struggles but I admire your strength and the fact that you decided to have Sydney Grace knowing what would happen.

  2. On 4/27 we will celebrate(for lack of a better word) 1 year since we learned about Johanna's T18 and our world changed forever. And I wouldn't change a single thing. To change Jo's T18 would be changing her. And she was exactly how God wanted her to be. Thanks for continuing to tell Sydney's story. You're encouraging me.

  3. I know what you mean about not having regrets. A year ago today we received the devastating news that our daughter had trisomy 18. Jordan lived a precious three days and it was all worth it to have those three wonderful days! For me personally, my low was at 12 weeks after her death and after that each day seemed to get a little bit better; now I still have my moments but our "new normal" seemed to have some happy moments filled with the dark ones. Its hard for me to believe that its been 10 months! Continuing to pray for you and you're family; I admire your stregth!

  4. I have been waiting for the ribbon magnets...do you still have any? If so were do I send the money? Thanks so much...you are always in my thoughts and prayers.