Today has been a good day. I woke up this morning to sunshine. It is amazing how weather can affect your mood. Instead of focusing on all the negatives, I started thinking about the positives.
First I am thankful for all the wonderful video I do have of Sydney Grace. We took a lot of video the first two days we were at the hospital. For some reason, when I looked at my computer a few days ago I only had about half the videos. The others were on our external harddrive. Those were the ones that really focus in on Sydney. I did have videos of all those things that I mentioned in my blog entitled "Regrets." I do have video of her taking a bath, making her little noises and cries, opening her eyes, and making all her little expressions. Things I thought I would never see again, I did this morning!
I am thankful for Aly Hancock Dart and all her family. My mom and I went to Mrs. Susan's this morning to return a few things. Aly was there also. She has done such an amazing job. When we asked her to take photos of Sydney's birth a few month ago, I think we all thought she would only have to be there for an hour or two. Instead Aly, unselfishly, spent more hours than can be counted taking thousands of photos. She made a beautiful slide show of Sydney Grace for her wake. She even wrote Sydney's obituary. I will never be able to repay her. Aly comes from the best family. Mrs. Susan, Emily, and Joella all helped our family. From providing meals and the best homemade yeast rolls you could ever eat, to providing the music for the service, to getting the programs, the Hancocks really have shown me and my family the best kind of support: love.
I am thankful for all the labor and delivery nurses at Carteret General. I could get in trouble if I try to name them all so I won't. I am too afraid I will forget someone. Sydney was actually delivered by two of the best nurses. Sydney was so anxious to arrive that my doctor did not make it to the room in time. One of those nurses was actually here at my house several times just to check on me and Sydney. She was even here in the middle of night after Sydney passed. I had other nurses also visit with us once we got home and even provided us with a meal. One nurse made Sydney and I a mother/daughter matching bracelet. I never took it off Sydney and she was actually buried with it. I can never say enough about all the nurses. They took such great care of Sydney, me and my family. I don't know how we will ever repay them.
I am thankful for the best peditrician I could ever ask for Sydney Grace. This man showed so much love for our family. He only wanted what was best for Sydney's comfort. I could call him at any hour and he would drop what he was doing just to talk to me about any of my concerns. If I did not call him, then he would call just to check in. As I said at Sydney's funeral, my heart wants to burst when I think about Dr. Rule. He is the BEST!
I am thankful for Hilary. She has so unselfishly done so much for me and my family. The morning Sydney was born, she so graciously started updating facebook and made a fan page for her. As the days have gone by we have seen Sydney's fans increase daily. Hilary also started this blog for us. At the time of Sydney's birth until her death, I didn't have much time to update, but because of Hilary, so many people were able to share in our miracle. I am grateful for that.
I am thankful for our family. Joel and I have been so supported. From staying to the hospital with us, to helping with Rafe, to cleaning and cooking, they have all been here for us. We have grown closer as family through all of this. I am thankful for Joel and Rafe. Joel has allowed me to go through all the emotions over the past five months. He has been there for me as I have cried, yelled, or just been silent in my grief. I love him so much. Rafe... he is what has kept me going. As I tell him he is the best little Rafe that I know.
Today is a day of thanks, no regrets.
8 months ago