Thursday, February 4, 2010

Being Thankful

Today has been a good day. I woke up this morning to sunshine. It is amazing how weather can affect your mood. Instead of focusing on all the negatives, I started thinking about the positives.

First I am thankful for all the wonderful video I do have of Sydney Grace. We took a lot of video the first two days we were at the hospital. For some reason, when I looked at my computer a few days ago I only had about half the videos. The others were on our external harddrive. Those were the ones that really focus in on Sydney. I did have videos of all those things that I mentioned in my blog entitled "Regrets." I do have video of her taking a bath, making her little noises and cries, opening her eyes, and making all her little expressions. Things I thought I would never see again, I did this morning!

I am thankful for Aly Hancock Dart and all her family. My mom and I went to Mrs. Susan's this morning to return a few things. Aly was there also. She has done such an amazing job. When we asked her to take photos of Sydney's birth a few month ago, I think we all thought she would only have to be there for an hour or two. Instead Aly, unselfishly, spent more hours than can be counted taking thousands of photos. She made a beautiful slide show of Sydney Grace for her wake. She even wrote Sydney's obituary. I will never be able to repay her. Aly comes from the best family. Mrs. Susan, Emily, and Joella all helped our family. From providing meals and the best homemade yeast rolls you could ever eat, to providing the music for the service, to getting the programs, the Hancocks really have shown me and my family the best kind of support: love.

I am thankful for all the labor and delivery nurses at Carteret General. I could get in trouble if I try to name them all so I won't. I am too afraid I will forget someone. Sydney was actually delivered by two of the best nurses. Sydney was so anxious to arrive that my doctor did not make it to the room in time. One of those nurses was actually here at my house several times just to check on me and Sydney. She was even here in the middle of night after Sydney passed. I had other nurses also visit with us once we got home and even provided us with a meal. One nurse made Sydney and I a mother/daughter matching bracelet. I never took it off Sydney and she was actually buried with it. I can never say enough about all the nurses. They took such great care of Sydney, me and my family. I don't know how we will ever repay them.

I am thankful for the best peditrician I could ever ask for Sydney Grace. This man showed so much love for our family. He only wanted what was best for Sydney's comfort. I could call him at any hour and he would drop what he was doing just to talk to me about any of my concerns. If I did not call him, then he would call just to check in. As I said at Sydney's funeral, my heart wants to burst when I think about Dr. Rule. He is the BEST!

I am thankful for Hilary. She has so unselfishly done so much for me and my family. The morning Sydney was born, she so graciously started updating facebook and made a fan page for her. As the days have gone by we have seen Sydney's fans increase daily. Hilary also started this blog for us. At the time of Sydney's birth until her death, I didn't have much time to update, but because of Hilary, so many people were able to share in our miracle. I am grateful for that.

I am thankful for our family. Joel and I have been so supported. From staying to the hospital with us, to helping with Rafe, to cleaning and cooking, they have all been here for us. We have grown closer as family through all of this. I am thankful for Joel and Rafe. Joel has allowed me to go through all the emotions over the past five months. He has been there for me as I have cried, yelled, or just been silent in my grief. I love him so much. Rafe... he is what has kept me going. As I tell him he is the best little Rafe that I know.

Today is a day of thanks, no regrets.


  1. Lindsey,
    I as so thankful that today is a better day for you. So many people have said that your are in their prayers. We are so lucky to have Rafe. He is such a ray of sunshine.

  2. I am so glad to hear today has been a better day, those days that you spend feeling sad are all part of the process of greiving. It is great to here what the other people mean to you. Most of all I am thankfully that you found the videos which were providing you with regrets when u could not find them. I'm praying for continued strength and love for you all. Thanks for keeping us updated I now log on before bed for an insight into your day. Thank you for sharing your amazing family, friends and most importantly ur 20 wonderful day you had with Sydney Grace.

    Love and prayers
    Scotland, UK

  3. God is again showing his precious grace! Thank you for sharing with us!

  4. Well said. Johanna was only alive for 63 minutes and most of those were in the C-Section suite. I don't have any videos and that I regret. I'm so glad ya'll have that tangible reminder of your daughter. The pictures of Johanna are more precious to me than gold.

    We're still praying for you guys. Much love from another Trisomy 18 Mom and Dad.

  5. I knew God would give you comfort, i prayed today for just that for you! I am so glad to see that you had a better day. You are so strong, never forget that. Sending kisses up for Sydney Grace.


  6. I pray for you and your family often. I am thankful that my prayers that you would have a better day today were answered. May God continue to wrap you in His arms!

  7. I can speak for my girls, and I include Hilary as "my girl" too- serving and helping you and yours during this time has been a true labor of love. Just to help me explain a little better, I googled the definition of "labor" and it said... physical or mental exertion, especially when difficult or exhausting.

    The best kind of labor is "labor of love" because this type of work lightens the load for the one being served, while at the same time fills the heart of the one providing the service with love for the one being served. In other words, both the giver and the receiver are blessed by the service. Seems to me to be the very essence of what our Savior tried to teach us.

    You have taught us many important lessons during the past month- lessons that I will treasure for the rest of my life. Patience, endurance, humility, and many others. We are so happy to have been able to help in small ways.

    So- today is ending, and tomorrow holds the promise for many wonderful things. I am grateful that today has been better. Love you and yours.

  8. Lindsey,
    I'm so glad you are having a better day tomorrow and I'm so thankful that you found the videos of Sydney Grace. I will say a pray for His continued peace tonight.

  9. Lindsey,

    My cup runneth over. I have been changed forever by knowing your little angel. My heart is full of gratitude and love for you and all of your family. I remember the small acts of love and kindness shown to my family when we have suffered tragedies and heartaches in our lives, and I am glad to be on the giving end. I have learned through example and experience that it is only through true Christlike service that we can ultimately feel true Christlike love. But the real lesson is that we feel that Christlike love when we are both on the giving and receiving ends.

    I promise that you and your family have given me much more than you'll ever know. I loved every minute with you all. I found myself sitting in my house during the day wanting to find an excuse to ride down the road to your house.

    I love you all and feel so privileged to have known Sydney Grace. I find a great deal of comfort and peace in the knowledge that I will know her again someday...

    Love, Aly

  10. Lindsey,
    I am brought to tears each time I read your blog. My heart continues to break for you, Joel, and Rafe.

    I am so thankful for the time I had to spend with your family and Sydney. Even though I knew her situation and the many struggles she faced each day, when I held her I felt a sense of calm and a sense of pure love. She taught me that miracles happen everyday, she taught me to trust God and His plan.

    I know that my words are no where near enough but please know that I think of you everyday, and know that she touched my life in such an amazing way.


  11. Lindsey---

    I want to thank you for sharing your little miracle. Her story and life has blessed me in so many ways. I have always loved my children, but now the hugs are a little tighter and the kisses a little sweeter. You are an amazing woman, God knew this and sent you one of his angels so you could be her Earthly mommy! Until you are with her again may you have peace and comfort! Thanks again for sharing her with all of us!

  12. Dear Lindsey
    thank you so much for your blog today it is good to hear you are better today ive watched the video clips and the other photos and they have made my day!!! Sydneys little noises are heartwarming, thinking, praying for you all as usual
    Kim Leadbetter
    Scotland Uk
    X X X X

  13. Thanks for sharing your precious bundle with us.. I am so glad you r doing better today.. Just take 1 day at a time.. Remember the Father above is with u everyday all the way.. My thoughts and prayers r still with U and your family...

  14. Lindsey,

    Words can't say how Sydney has affected me. My daughter had a scare just after she was born, and I remember so well the terror at the thought of losing her. After 48 hours she was such a part of me, that I felt I would never be able to function without her. Now, you are living that thing I so feared. I wish so much there was something I could do to ease it for you. I can, however, tell you that Sydney has helped me to be more patient and loving with my baby, Ayden. I pray for you often and am so thankful that you have shared your blessing with us. I go to church with Paige and Jesica, and I think you are three amazingly strong women. I'm thankful you three have one another in this time. And so thankful you have a loving and supportive husband. I'll be praying for another day without regrets.

    Lauren Morris

  15. Lindsey,

    Your playlist is wonderful! Thank you for sharing it here for us to enjoy, too. Music is so incredibly soothing and healing...

    Much love,

  16. Lindsey,
    Our visit today was so uplifting. You are an inspiration to me! Thank you for sharing your family with all of us. Sydey's video is amazing. The pictures are beautiful. I pray for your family every day!

  17. Praising the Lord that you had a better day and praying that He comforts you and fills you all with peace.

  18. Lindsey,

    I am so very touched by the video of Sydney, Rafe & you that I can barely catch my breath from the tears. You are such an amazing and strong woman. God is so AMAZING in how he allows things to unfold. I can see know why we should never question his plan, as he knows best. Sydney Grace has changed my life forever! We love you Lindsey, Joel & Rafe.

    Meghan Stephens

  19. Lindsey,
    I am so thankful that God allowed you, and your family the number of days you had with your most precious lil Angel. God works through all of us, just as He did with Sydney. I have been show through your most precious lil Angel that love is the most wonderful thing in this world. Love should never be taken for granted. It can be here today, and gone tomorrow. Without love we are noone, and we have nothing. But with love we can comfort a hurting heart. With love we can dry a tear. With love we can all become one just as Jesus ask us to do. Sydney Grace will always be a HERO to me. Even though she never spoke a word, she showed my heart so much. For that I will forever be grateful to your lil Angel.

    Gloria Ivey