Monday, March 1, 2010

First Day Back

I went to work today for the first time in 10 weeks. I cried all the way to work today. Not because I was not wanting to work, but because the last time I worked Sydney Grace was still with me. I also think by going to work today I was starting a new phase of my life without Sydney. For the past few weeks I have been at home consumed with things to do with Sydney Grace. I have been working on the blog, writing thank you notes, sending out announcements, organizing her clothes and gifts, and starting her scrapbook. It has all been about Sydney Grace. It made me sad today because it occurred to me that Sydney Grace was not going to be my daily focus anymore. It was like I was losing her all over again.

When I got to school, I was welcomed so warmly. The teachers had a welcome back breakfast in my honor. It was so nice to feel so loved and supported by so many people. I think most of my students were really excited to see me (that makes me feel so good.) I had students give me cards and presents. Two student went together and gave me another Willow Tree statue called "Surrounded by Love." Once again, Willow Tree has a statue to fit every situation. I was surrounded by love today and I really felt it.

I decided to show my students a slide show of Sydney Grace. I wanted to share this with them so they could see what a miracle she was. I never talked about my pregnancy while I was teaching, because I did not want to upset the students and I did not want to get upset myself. I told the students today I never shared with them because I never knew when Sydney would pass away. It was too painful to talk about it with them. I showed them the slide show because I really wanted them to share in my love for Sydney Grace. I wanted them to see who they all had been praying for during those 20 days. I told them I did not want them to be sad but, happy. Happy because we did get a miracle. Something we never thought we would have.

It is good to be back at work. I can't wait for tomorrow!


  1. Lindsey -

    You are one strong woman! I am so happy that work went well for you today. I had you on my mind all day long thinking how you were doing. I can't wait to see you, Joel and Rafe this weekend! -Katie

  2. It was so wonderful having you back today! Just know that we are all here for you and if you ever need to just spend the whole planning period talking and eating M & Ms, we will all be there to listen! See you in the morning. :-)

  3. You never cease to amaze me... where does your strength come from? I have never met you, but somehow I am so proud of you for taking the next step each day. God has such a big plan for you!

  4. Your post reminds me of my first day back teaching after losing James Collins. Aren't children so very kind and thoughtful? It still amazes me the kindness in the human heart. I'm glad your first day was good as could be. Yes, I cried all the way to school too.

    Your friend in the motherhood of God' Angels
    Gale Fitts and former MCMS teacher

  5. Going back to work was definitely a surreal experience. My routine was suddenly exactly the same as when I was pregnant with Johanna, only she wasn't with me anymore. But it was so wonderful to be able to give to someone else. Praying for you this week.

  6. My daughter has a child in your class, and let me tell you, that girl loves you! I must tell you, that you are one amazing woman. I strive to be just like you. I thank God that you are out there sharing your story, your heart and your emotions with us. As you grow and heal, us outsiders are cheering you on each and every step of the way. Just as Sydney Grace is amazing, and changed the lives of so many, so are you.

  7. So glad to hear that the first day back went well (each day gets a little easier) and that you are surrounded by such love! What a blessing during these days! Thinking of you

  8. Mrs. Fodrie,
    I am so glad you're back! Everyone missed you! School just wasn't the same without you. See you at school!
    Praying Always,
    Hannah M

  9. Once again i am in awe of you. You are so strong and I am still praying for your family. I pray for Sydney up in Heaven as well. Have a wondeful week!